Speaking kind words about queer people on TV lets the queer and questioning people in your life know that when they’re ready to come out - in their own time, in their own way - your living room is a proud one.
If you think someone you know is questioning who they are, or who they love, it’s not always a good idea to ask them outright. They might not know or be ready to come out yet.
Instead, you can make it clear that you support them no matter what by engaging with and reacting to the queer characters and storylines you see on TV.
DR LUCY’S
TOP TIPS
Dr Lucy is a clinical psychologist who specialises in working with young people and their families
1.
BE MINDFUL OF LANGUAGE AND REACTIONS
Be conscious of the language you use and your reactions. Avoid making jokes or negative comments about LGBTQIA+ characters or themes. Instead, show positive engagement and interest in the storylines, which can help create a safe and supportive environment. Talking about how you feel positively about a character can show you are accepting and help to create opportunities to talk more about sexuality and gender.
2.
CALL OUT OTHER PEOPLE’S COMMENTS
If you hear someone else making negative or jokey comments about queer people, characters or storylines, don’t sit by and listen - say something to call it out. It can be a gentle comment: “Hey - people can love who they want to love”, or a point of information: “Actually, bisexual means identifying as fancying both men and women”.
3.
CREATE AN OPEN AND NON-JUDGEMENTAL SPACE
Encourage an open conversation about the content you’re watching. If a topic related to LGBTQIA+ issues comes up, be open to discussion and listen without judgement, but don’t force the issue.
4.
RESPECT PRIVACY AND BOUNDARIES
Understand that everyone’s comfort levels are different. If someone doesn’t want to discuss certain topics or feels uncomfortable with certain scenes, respect their boundaries and change the subject or switch the content if necessary.
5.
EDUCATE YOURSELF
Take the time to educate yourself about LGBTQIA+ issues and experiences. This shows that you are committed to being an ally and can help you better understand and support queer and questioning individuals. It takes the pressure off them to have to explain things too.
6.
THINK IN MORE THAN BLACK AND WHITE
Be aware that someone might not necessarily identify as gay or straight - they might be exploring how they feel about different people, or they might feel like they just love who they love - regardless of gender.
7.
BE AWARE OF THE IMPACT OF DISCRIMINATION ON MENTAL HEALTH
Everybody has different experiences on their journey to coming out, but being queer or questioning doesn’t mean you have a mental health problem. However, many people who identify as gay, lesbian, or queer tend to experience more discrimination than people in straight relationships. People who identify as transgender also experience more bullying. This can take its toll on someone’s mental health and lead to feelings of low mood and anxiety. Being aware of this means you can watch out for tricky experiences and be extra supportive if you think a young person you know is queer or questioning.
If you want to read more about mental health with young people, Dr Lucy’s book What is Mental Health? is aimed at young people (aged 10 or above) and has some additional free online resources here.
If you’re queer or questioning, or think someone in your life is, you can find further support and information at the links below.
